I pushed through the heavy glass door and was met by a draft of air, which smelled like every middle school did. The smell of cold metal lockers, stale posters hung on the old faded walls, and body spray that was greatly overused by young boys discovering their newfound concern for good hygiene. I clenched tighter to my class schedule, which was no longer crisp and unwrinkled, but still unfamiliar and discomfit to my already stressed and defeated mind. Though I had already found myself in this situation exactly eight times before, being the "new kid" for the ninth time at only fourteen years old wasn't exactly how I imagined beginning my freshman year. My attempt to blend in with the crowd only seemed a failure with every set of eyes that I made contact with. The judgmental looks so thick that I could taste them. Every whisper shot in my direction passed along by a small community of seemingly harmless teenagers. I was increasingly becoming insecure with my unaccustomed self.

Every class repetitive of the one before; stand, state my name, where I moved from, why I moved, then sit. Afterwards I'd slump low in my seat, and try to pay attention to the teacher while pretending not to notice each unhidden gawk fixed on my warm flustered face. Though obviously out of my element, I hoped for every class to pass slowly. Only because I dreaded lunchtime.

The first day of school as the new student meant that I had no one to sit by at the lunch table. The phrase "new girl" was quickly transformed into the form of a question, "is that girl sitting by herself, new?" I would be on display and for a short moment, the topic of wandering conversation. As I slowly approached the loud chaotic hustle and bustle of the echoing cafeteria my stomach started to feel sick, and my three ring binder began to form painful indents in the creases of my cold tight fingers. I found myself alone locked in a stall of the girl's bathroom. My irrational panic led me to evade the lunchroom, and ignore the hungry emptiness of my growling stomach. Hot tears filled my large brown eyes, and I looked to the ceiling hoping to drain them back down, rather than let them flow over my soft mascara covered eyelashes. Though I had no one to turn to in my time of need I softly bowed my head and prayed for comfort, and soon found myself silently humming old primary songs hoping to calm my nerves.

Thirty minutes passed and I heard the sound I'd been waiting for, lunch had come to an end and all of the hustle and bustle from before was now headed to fifth period. As I stood on display at the front of Mrs. Ward's empty classroom, I watched each of my classmates pile in and find their seats. Empty desks were quickly becoming infrequent, so my view of the classroom shifted to my feet as the heavy stares of my peers became more and more abundant. I was content just watching my shoes nervously rub against the thin blue carpet, until my thoughts were interrupted by a familiar minty smell that unintentionally brought my head up to face the open classroom door. My eyes met with the hypnotizing pail green eyes of a boy chewing trident gum.

Realizing I was staring at a complete, yet attractive stranger, I quickly redirected my field of vision to the unwelcoming rug I'd previously become familiar with. Concern about my monotonous introduction to the class suddenly heightened with the thought of making a fool of myself in front of this new found distraction. Much to my relieving surprise Mrs. Ward was more worried about teaching geometry than the name of my previous middle school. So she stood, assigned me a desk, and began class. Instead of slumping in my seat I sat straight, and nonchalantly scanned the room with eyes of radar. Though I was looking for his smooth olive skinned face, my stomach still tightened as I met those pail green eyes once more. This time I involuntarily shot a shy closed smile in his direction, but instant trepidation overtook my entire body. I didn't even know the person I was smiling at, or if he'd even care. My obviously dramatic reaction to my own small gesture was immediately replaced with utter adoration, when I was received with a warm grin back in my direction.

After class I hurried to the next in hopes of skipping my introduction a second time. Mr. Logan told me to choose a seat, so without any altercation I sat in the last row and tried my hardest to be invisible. As groups of bodies piled through the classroom door I anxiously tapped my pen against the top of my scratched and graffiti covered desk. Almost hypnotizing myself with the quick and consistent tap of my ball point pen caused me to be startled by a quiet but strong voice, coming a short distance from the front of my desk, "Cool beat" he said. Only my eyes raised in his direction, slowly but steadily fixing on the character in the seat in front of my own. I smiled, more confidently this time. "Thanks!" I replied, and was rewarded with that same warm grin that had been given to me only moments back. "That's a cool phone can I see it?" an awkward silence was broken by the physical jerk my body created once I realized that I was just asked a question. "Yeah!" I fumbled my phone into his rough steady hands. He smiled and turned back around to face the front of the classroom.

Hindered by a long first day of school I collapsed on my bed and fixated on the ceiling, trying to find futile shapes in the textured paint. My concentration was interrupted by a 'buzz' in the pocket of my jeans. It read, "One new text message from Quynn."

All confusion came to an abrupt end as my mind brought itself back to roll call in class this afternoon, then my heart stopped. Quynn Allsup, the first name called for attendance, the first face I cared to remember, the boy with the Trident gum. Then I remembered giving him my phone in class just long enough to enter his number and obtain my own. Still trying to decide if this was reality I opened my message. "Hi Charli" I took a deep breath and continued, "my friends and I are on our way to the school to play baseball, you should meet us there!" I watched as my fingers sent a message in reply, "On my way :)" he responded with a simple, "see you soon!".

As I climbed the grass hill to the baseball fields I began to come into earshot of what sounded like a rowdy group of hyenas, but turned out to be four boys. I recognized them from school, each one glued to each other's side in the hallway. Quynn, Aaron, McKay, and Efrain all greeted me as if they had known me for years. Their welcoming demeanor made me feel more comfortable, and less like a 'newbie'. I tried to stand to the side and look my best, but couldn't fight my itch to join in the game. Soon I found myself jumping and running and keeping up with the rest of them. We weren't there for long when McKay, Aaron, and Efrain began to huddle together in the outfield. Their mental clocks started to tick, and secrets hovered through the three of them along with giggles and short glances in my direction. They separated, still focused on each other's every move. Aaron threw the baseball past Quynn, and quickly smirked at McKay, then Efrain, and finally me. I returned a smile, as if I knew what was going through his mind. When Quynn turned and started for the poorly thrown ball, I watched almost in slow motion as Aaron lifted his shirt in triumph and led the other two, down the hill, around the school, and out of sight. I laughed at their attempt to cheer and run at the same time, which only resulted in tripping over one another's scuffled feet.

My laughter quickly ended as a mumbled voice brought me back to reality. I looked to my right to see Quynn standing a few yards away, watching as his friends disappeared from view. But what I saw surprised me. I recognized his nervousness from the same expression that I could feel form on my own cold face. I smiled, pretending like I wasn't now worrying about how I looked. He smiled back and said, "maybe we should follow them." I nodded in agreement and trudged down the hill. As we rounded the school we realized that following the other three was greatly ineffectual, but kept walking in an aimless direction along the unfinished sidewalk. Small talk occupied our mouths with each uneasy footstep. Confidence slowly started to build as we became more familiar and comfortable in each other's company. Before I knew it I'd forgotten about our absent friends, and was completely consumed in my infatuation for this boy. We never had a quiet moment, constantly laughing, joking, and confiding in one another. As the sun dropped out of sight Quynn suggested we turn around and start for my house. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed, I didn't want the night to end. As we approached my house Quynn began to slow down. I stopped in the middle of the street when he did, and turned to face him. He stepped forward and wrapped his long strong arms around me, I buried my face in his warm open coat and was content staying this way all night. He stepped back and looked at me as if he'd remembered something exciting. "Hey a bunch of friends are coming to my house after school on Friday, you should come!" I agreed with a smile and nod of my head, still pushing myself out of my comfort zone. The next week was stop and go. As I became more comfortable with my new surroundings, I began to branch out. Ashton Fullmer sat next to me in fourth period, Spanish one with Mr. Laughery. She was also new, not only to Fort Herriman Middle school, but to the entire state of Utah. Ashton instantly became my first friend, and my best friend. I no longer had to eat lunch alone.

Looking forward to geometry class was the highlight of every day. I'd impatiently sit tall in my seat, waiting for him to enter the classroom. Though I knew it was coming, his entrance always caused overwhelming butterflies throughout my nerves. This crush wasn't going away, it was only growing uncontrollably.